Splinters
by cheebs
Summary: Inside Faith 's comatose mind, after the events in Graduation Day.
1. Prettiest Thing

Disclaimer: Faith isn't mine. If she were, I'd likely be   
cuffed to the bed right now. All hail the great and mighty  
Joss for creating the baddest grrrl I've lusted after in a   
while, and The Creatures for the title.   
  
Rating: R  
  
Spoilers: Graduation Day pts 1 & 2, which I'm sure   
everyone's seen by now.  
  
Summary: inside Faith's mind  
  
email: chbkamen@optonline.net  
  
feedback: yes, please, I need to know if this is utter crap   
or not. ^_^ But please don't email me complaining about  
the odd punctuation and capitalization; it's all purposeful.  
  
author: cheebs!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Splinters : Prettiest Thing  
-----------------------------  
  
  
  
goddamn prissy pretty-in-pink goody-two-shoes perfect   
little BITCH.   
  
SHE tried to KILL me. ME. with MY knife. and now i'm stuck   
inside my own head, in this bizarre little world that i must   
have created sometime between Kakistos and Angel.  
  
won't last. i'm BETTER than this. better than HER. BETTER   
than her perfect eyes (full with hunger), better than her   
perfect hair (floating over and around her as i throw her   
to the bed), her perfect lips (crushing against mine), her   
perfect tits (heaving with shallow breath as my fingers   
plunge to her hips' rhythm), her perfect legs (clamping on   
my hand as she screams my name) her perfect ass (marking   
where my nails dig in to keep her still).   
  
I'M. BETTER. better than the whole of her being (pressing   
naked against me as i devour her crushed-berry lips...her   
creamy but fang-scarred neck...her hardened pink nipples,   
one at a time...suck on them 'til she cries out and pushes   
my head down...nip at her taut belly on the way to the neatly   
trimmed dampening, darkening blonde curls...)  
  
...the fuck? where did THAT come from?  
  
anyway.  
  
i'm going to prove it when i wake up. i'm gonna leave this   
place and go in her bedroom window -- when she's awake, of   
course, 'cause i ain't a coward -- and i'm gonna get my   
knife back from the little bitch and run it all over that   
little (sexy) body of hers...stand over her and laugh as the   
blood covers her (hugging every curve)...watch the   
perfection wash away in a river of of red, turning her (spun-  
gold) hair to matted crimson...listen to her beg (me to enter   
her)...won't help. she'll be MINE (body and soul and mewling   
and writhing on my fist...).  
  
shit. not again.  
  
god, i hate her. it's not bad enough she put me in a COMA and   
invades my DREAMS, but she has to fill my every THOUGHT too?   
(especially when she should be filling something else.) what   
i wouldn't give to die right now just so i can stop THINKING about   
her (hungry eyes and pouting lips and spun-gold hair and perky   
tits and...)  
  
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (her!)  
  
shit.  
  
hmm...  
  
then again...maybe fucking B wouldn't be such a bad thing. she's   
one hell of a hottie when she's not being little miss righteous   
vanilla.   
  
bet she doesn't know i saw every time she stared at my lips, like   
they were the biggest thing in her world. dunno, maybe they were.   
maybe a few times she wanted me as bad as i wanted her. maybe she   
still wants me that bad. not like i give a shit what the cunt wants;   
any chance of that ended with the KNIFE in my gut. (should've been   
her fingers in yo - my hot, wet pussy.)  
  
...?  
  
that's real fuckin' interesting...i don't usually have PRONOUN   
trouble....  
  
(*giggle* you sound like daffy duck.)  
  
...i also don't GIGGLE. i NEVER giggled in my whole LIFE.  
  
(was there ever anything to giggle about?)  
  
shut UP! WHY the FUCK are you in my HEAD?!  
  
(it's the only way i can talk to you.)  
  
(i miss you.)  
  
I don't miss YOU. i just miss the little things in life, like   
CONSCIOUSNESS.  
  
(uh huh. *smirk* you can't lie to me anymore. how much longer   
are you going to lie to yourself?)  
  
....  
  
(what, no smartass remark?)  
  
...go 'way.  
  
(i have to anyway; it's almost time for me to wake up.)  
  
....  
  
(Faith...)  
  
aren't you GONE yet?  
  
(...wake up soon, so i can teach you to giggle...and you can make   
me purr.)  
  
(*kiss*)  
  
....  
  
....  
  
...B? Buffy?  
  
*sigh*  
  
shit.  
  
B...i'll take you up on that real soon.  
  
  
--------------- 


	2. Jigsaw Feeling

  
  
Disclaimer: Faith isn't mine. If she were, I'd likely be   
cuffed to the bed right now. All hail the great and mighty  
Joss for creating the baddest grrrl I've lusted after in a   
while, and Siouxsie & the Banshees for the title. Sioux is  
a demigoddess.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Spoilers: season 3 stuff. in other words, no.  
  
Summary: inside Faith's mind.  
  
email: chbkamen@optonline.net   
  
feedback: yes, please, I need to know if this is utter crap   
or not. ^_^ But please don't email me complaining about  
the odd punctuation and capitalization; it's all purposeful.  
  
author: cheebs!  
  
  
  
  
  
Splinters : Jigsaw Feeling  
----------------------------  
  
  
  
*sigh*  
  
it's quiet.  
  
it's DARK.  
  
i know all about the dark and the monsters (some are human)   
that sneak into your room at night (can't breathe) when you  
should be SLEEPING (can't scream) ... about the daytime   
monsters who are too WEAK to stop them (can't cry).   
  
I'M NOT WEAK. i'm BETTER. STRONG. i KILL the monsters now...  
  
but...  
  
not all monsters are all BAD. some can LOVE. some can make  
you IMPORTANT. some can make you FORGET.   
  
but darkness...  
  
darkness is BAD. (even if it's refuge?) it can swallow you   
whole if you let it. i DON'T. i'm STRONGER than that. i   
embrace it and draw on its POWER and turn it back on the  
MONSTERS. (biting and scratching and kicking to a bloody pulp)   
  
NO!!!  
  
don't wanna remember that. gotta stay FOCUSED. in CONTROL.  
  
(how? you can't control yourself. remember Finch?)  
  
....  
  
(well?)  
  
you know i do. warm blood and terror and all my fault  
  
thought you wanted me to wake up? i can't do that with you   
in here.  
  
(can't anyway, apparently. you never could do anything   
right...couldn't even kill Angel. how PATHETIC is that,  
a SLAYER who can't KILL a VAMPIRE?!)  
  
YOU didn't want him dead...  
  
(how would YOU know what i wanted? you don't even know what   
YOU want, much less what anyone else wants. poor little  
Faith, always so eager to please, but oh-so-clueless!)  
  
you're not Buffy.  
  
(*smirk* oh no?)  
  
no.  
  
(*broader smirk* why, because i'm blunt and cruel, and tell  
you things you don't want to hear?)  
  
because B didn't want him dead. THAT i know. that's why i'm  
HERE, because i couldn't let her USE me to SAVE. HIM.  
  
(*chuckle* and Post called you an idiot....)  
  
i. AM. NOT!  
  
(no, just gullible. don't you get it? Blondie could've   
taken you out without the knife. she didn't just wanna  
feed you to her undead boy toy, she wanted you dead.)  
  
no! she didn't mean... i could see... her eyes were so sad...  
no!  
  
(fucking PATHETIC. ya know, she didn't even try to stop you   
from jumping.)  
  
NO! NONONONO NONO no... she didn't want me dead... just   
wanted him back...  
  
(did she?)  
  
...didn't she?  
  
(*laughter*)  
  
*shiver*  
  
it's so DARK....  
  
  
  
  

  
  



	3. Beautiful Violence, Moving In

  
  
  
Disclaimer: Faith isn't mine. If she were, I'd likely be   
cuffed to the bed right now. All hail the great and mighty  
Joss for creating the baddest grrrl I've lusted after in a   
while, and The Creatures for the title. Sioux is a   
demigoddess.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Spoilers: season 3 stuff. in other words, no.  
  
Summary: inside Faith's mind.  
  
email: chbkamen@optonline.net   
  
feedback: yes, please, I need to know if this is utter crap   
or not. ^_^ But please don't email me complaining about  
the odd punctuation and capitalization; it's all purposeful.  
  
author: cheebs!  
  
  
  
  
  
Splinters : Beautiful Violence, Moving In  
-------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
  
  
flailing fists and  
bottle shards  
crimson darkness  
drip  
drip  
dripping  
down  
onto  
stained matress  
drip  
drip  
dripping  
like tears that won't come  
can't cry  
but i can  
SCREAM!  
drip  
drip  
drip.  
no more please stop i'll be good just love me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
tear of flesh  
flash of steel  
roar of pain  
threat of death  
and i'm running  
and it's dripping  
drip  
drip  
drip.  
couldn't save her can't save myself  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
spun gold and jade and pastel perfection  
and everything i'm not.  
flashing rainbows  
driving beats  
writhing  
thrusting  
longing  
needing  
drip  
drip  
drip.  
don't know how to love don't know how to be loved  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
more crimson  
drip  
drip  
dripping from my stake  
dripping from my hands  
wide jade terror  
gotta stop it all  
with a  
splash.  
beginning of the end Chosen Two becoming two  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
alabaster and iron. toys and Puppy.  
they kiss.  
i lose her completely.  
i love you so much i hate you  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
murderous jade  
cold steel sliding in so warm  
more crimson mine  
drip  
drip  
dripping  
look at you in big sister's clothes  
and i can't even scream  
as i f  
a  
l  
l  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
can feel her here...  
but is it her...?  
  
riddles and boxes and miles to go  
  
c  
o  
u  
n  
t  
i  
n  
g  
  
d  
o  
w  
n  
  
from 7. 3. 0.  
  
what does it all mean?  
  
(it means you're thinking too much.)  
  
....  
  
you again.  
  
(*smirk* pronoun trouble, girlfriend. you again. or am i HER?)  
  
*smirk* me tell me.  
  
(now i've got it. *smile*)  
(so...why ya thinkin' so hard?)  
  
because it's all i can DO. can't scream can't hit can't share my pain  
  
(is it? *raise eyebrow* yeah, all you can do is use that   
pathetic lump of grey matter, but there are other uses   
besides thought...dreamwalking, f'r instance. did it before...)  
  
...and got HIM killed for it. felt him die. should'a been   
HER.  
would i still feel so lost?  
  
(*derisive snort* don't lie to yourself. if she'd died, ya   
would've too. fire to her ice, yang to her yin...)  
  
...two halves of the whole. i know. just wish she'd get it   
already.  
  
(never gonna happen. *shakes head in disgust* B's dumb as a   
post when it comes to me. straight as one, too...don't it   
just break your heart?)  
  
YES . taste of rust and death. warm steel sliding into hot flesh and i can't even cry. why?  
  
(Denial.)  
  
  
------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Across town, in a quiet bedroom in a quiet house on a quiet   
street, tears ran silently down Buffy's cheeks. In a few   
hours she would wake with puffy eyes and stuffed nose and   
wonder why she couldn't remember crying. For now, though,  
her slumbering mind embraced another which reached for hers,  
screaming love and betrayal and asking questions for which   
there were no easy answers.  
  
  
  

  
  



End file.
